ACQUIRING SELF AUTONOMY
Gaining one’s autonomy is an essential part of healthy development, created from young. Its formation is tied with one’s primary attachments and identity, which is ultimately formed from learning and separating from early relationships. So what does Self-Autonomy look like? And how do you acquire it?
Self Autonomy is when…
- You feel safe and secure enough when you are on your own
- You do not feel an immediate need to be comforted by another in times of sadness, anger or overwhelming states
- You can enjoy being in your own company
- You are able to find space and time for yourself in order to process, repair and recover from life’s realties
- You take responsibility for your actions and accept the consequences of the choices you make
- You focus on what you have control of rather than focus on how others impact you
- You do not feel the need to refer to others to help you make a decision
- You are able to reflect on the part you play in your relationship
- You see relationships in terms of equality, value and respect where individuality is recognised as well as a need to compromise to support one another equally.
- You are able to repair and recover from any felt damage caused to relationships through sharing ones thoughts and feelings
In order to be gain autonomy you need to separate, in order to be separate, you need to develop your identity.
When you look into the mirror what do you see?
How would you describe yourself as a child?
How would you describe yourself as an adolescent?
How would you describe yourself now?
What similarities do you see between yourself and your mother or primary care giver?
What differences do you see between yourself and your father?
How do you think others would describe you?
What do you notice in your answers, can you see any patterns emerging? What did you find difficult and what did you find easy? Were your memories of your past experience clear or vague?
Gaining self-autonomy is a crucial resource in developing confidence and building an internal sense of security.
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