FINDING YOUR WHY

Finding You Personal Reason for Change

In order to ensure change lasts we need to understand where it comes from. An investigation into the reason why you desire change and why it is present in your mind now is needed before any further action is taken. This is imperative for the longevity of the outcome and to ensure that the wish can transform itself into reality. Finding your why will not only reaffirm the need and want for change, allowing it to have a stronger chance of survival, but it also indirectly creates another internal movement or movements of change impacting on other aspects of your Self.

What elements are needed for change to happen?

Change relies on resilience, perseverance and ability to smoothly transition from endings to new beginnings (and vice a versa). How easy change is to a person depends on how strong those attributes are and how entrenched and entangled one’s behaviour or thinking is.

How to find your Why

Finding the meaning behind your Why is often a complex task which rarely presents itself in consciousness and often requires analytical support to uncover.

Your Why directly relates to who you are and how your internal world is structured as well as the contents which fill it. The things you seek; what stimulates you; your desires and your needs are all linked to your Why. It is often an unconscious drive built up from a past experience, even as early as childhood. The need may be a distorted desire which has been consciously misunderstood. If the desire towards change dies you know that the meaning behind it has not been fully understood.

An obstacle to locate your Why can be because the meaning behind the change is unconscious, distorted or defended against. We all have the ability to make change happen, we do it every day in the decisions we make.

Change is about realigning your internal structure which has become distorted, unstable or stunted hindering your ability to grow. A new beginning is about positive encouragement to try again rather than start again. It is our mistakes after all which allow us to develop and continue to learn through new experiences and relationships.  It is in this we manage to rebuild, rewire, gett back up, rethink and re-establish our internal structure. Change is about You, it will affect You. It is your hard work that will make things happen, no one but you can do it.

Questions to Help You Find Your Why

  • Do you know what it is you want to change? Is it specific or is it something which covers many aspects of your life?
  • Is the change an internal desire or an external pressure? Is it something you want or has it been asked of you or even force upon you?
  • Has there been a particular event, comment or situation that as created a spark to initiate the change?
  • Why do you want to change now? Is there a story behind this change or a process which has led to this moment?
  • Why do you think you want this change? Is the change about stopping something which causes you pain or something which is detrimental to your physical and mental health; something which is not allowing you to develop further? Or is it something which will allow you to move forward and develop?
  • Is this something that has come up before? Have you tried to instil the same change previously? If so why do you think the change hasn’t been able to be sustained?
  • Reflect on what it means to integrate this change, noting down how you feel now and how you want to feel after the change has occurred.

These questions stimulate your thinking to understand why it is you seek change and whether this is in relation to past, present or future needs.

If change is hard to instil or difficult to pinpoint yet you have a strong pull towards something different then perhaps there is a more complex, unprocessed need for change.  This need maybe entangled in past experiences, dysfunctional expectations and thinking patterns. If there is an urgent need for change analytical help can support you in this quest.

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