INCREASE YOUR LEVEL OF INTIMACY

What does it take to truly become close to another human being, whether in love or friendship?

  • Take the Risk – even before you are completely sure of their trust.
  • Let down your defences.
  • Share something which has emotional meaning to you.
  • Share your past experiences.
  • Share your fears.
  • Ensure there is a balance of sharing and listening.
  • Start to be part of each other’s lives, feelings and routines.
  • Build an Identity as a couple – start using the “We” word.
  • Continue to be honest & reciprocal in self-disclosure.
  • Be physical on an affectionate and sexual level – it stirs the neurochemistry of attachment!

 

HOW TO KEEP INTIMACY ALIVE

COMMITMENT & FORMING AN IDENTITY

For long term intimacy, a commitment needs to be made and where one takes on the resources, perspective, and identities of the other.  A recognition and even a love of the other’s quirks and an acceptance of habits which one finds difficult is needed in sustaining an intimate connection.

TRUST

Trust must be maintained in order to continue to confide and for both to feel secure.

BOTH INDIVIDUALS & THE RELATIONSHIP GROWS ALONGSIDE ONE ANOTHER

The relationship grows and adapts alongside the growth and development of each partner.  These three lines of development must run parallel with one another if not work with one another so that both partners can continue to grow as separate individuals without hindering or stagnating the relationship’s development.

REPAIRING

Lastly and importantly, repairing the relationship when the realities of life get in the way, when emotional exhaustion decreases one’s emotional availability.  Lack of thinking, less space to hold and process one’s feelings can cause rash and hurtful communications and reactions, damaging the stability and trust in the relationship, and hinders the capacity for needs to be met.

Find out how your level of intimacy impacts your relationships sophie@lifestudiobysb.com

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