THE PROCESS OF SELF-DEVELOPMENT

The Internal Process of Change

In order for us to grow change has to happen. Below looks at how change develops. This step-by-step guide can highlight where you are in the process of self-development, which steps have been missed and which ones need to be revisited.

You Sense Change is Needed

You start to feel that something needs to change. You feel disconnected, unfulfilled, tired in all or part of your life. Yet you continue on, waiting for things to happen because you believe it will come from your external world or you remain in denial, blocked by your defences in your fear of the unknown.

Your Focus Shifts

Internal movement occurs and your focus begins to shift. You start to react to your internal need for change almost without conscious recognition; it is something in the unconscious coming into your preconscious, a preparation for change.

You Recognise Resources You Already Have

Opposition to change is strong in a wish for things to remain the same, yet you fight your own resistance and overcome your defences which block movement forward. This gradual lowering of defences allows for a new mind-set to form which focuses on what you can do rather than what you can’t. You start to consciously wonder whether you might have resources that could make change happen.

You Start to Act

An internal light has been switched on and you start to live in the present rather than sit in the past or wait for the future. Things are moving with what seems like no help from you. Opportunities arise in what feels like the first time, when in fact you are just recognising them for the first time.

You Become More Social

You become more involved in present life, social events, relationships. You feel more comfortable being around people and start to enjoy being in your own and other’s company. You start to believe that you may be able to offer something unique to your relationships and them to you. Part of enjoying others company is because you are becoming more and more able to understand their individuality without needing to agree or disagree with what they say, what they do or who they are. You accept difference.

You Worry Less

You start to feel different, lighter, content and more patient. You feel you have more time because you spend less time worrying or consumed by the things you felt you Must do, were Obliged to do or Should do.

You Make Decisions

You make decisions not on someone else’s opinion but a combination of what you have been taught, what you have understood and what you have taken in. In doing so you delve deeper to further enlighten your own personal understanding.

Your Need for Possession Loses its Value

The need to possess things out of fear of losing them and/or a lack of confidence in being able to hold on to them sufficiently, gradually begins to fade. A balanced and reflective experience of how you relate starts to emerge, including the relationship you have with yourself as well as with others.

Your Life Purpose Evolves

Now you’ve gained greater awareness of your sense of self you start to recognise your wants and needs with greater clarity, leading to the possibility that dreams could be reached by none other than yourself! You start to live your life with purpose living to fulfil not just to survive.

Your Mind & Body Connect

You see yourself in many different dimensions. You are in touch with the fact that your mind and body are separate but naturally and essentially intertwined to create your sense of self.

Understanding Realities

You understand reality and its limitations but do not see those limitations as impossibilities. You recognise there are challenges in life but you don’t expect them nor wait for them. You know if you fall down you will get back up, your resilience grows stronger as your fear weakens. You understand that doubt will arise but every time it does you become better equipped at recognising it and squashing it down. You have, you gain, you build and you develop Your Resources.

You Bring Everything Back to the Self

You realise that everything you were looking for is within you. You see the external world as a product of your creation. You see your relationships as part of your formation. With this not only comes responsibility but an immense amount of empowerment and openings to new beginnings.

Your Empowerment

You are strong, you stop trying to free yourself of responsibility because you know that life is manageable. You open yourself up to learning because you can hold the probability of experiencing pain. You strive for more, believing that everything is possible. Flooded with ideas, energy, movement and action your physical form struggles to keep up.

You Believe in You

You no longer need another to believe in you. You understand that only you can truly meet your own needs and wants. You don’t feel alone because you have a love and respect for your own being, building a trust that others will feel the same. You understand that the relationship you have with yourself and with others are intrinsically linked but also require separateness, a recognition that others have their own needs and wants. You see relationships as a gift which only if nourished will they grow and be able to be used as a resource to build, develop and create. You believe in you, your existence, your importance and in your personal purpose.

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